Of Revision and Long-Windedness

Revision is not everybody's strong suit. We, especially as Honor's students, don't like to be told that we are wrong or what we do is incorrect. In high school, revision was not something I needed to utilize too often because I would get a good enough grade the first time around or my teacher's would not offer a higher grade than say, a 90/100 on a revised essay and here I am, stuck with a 93. I can see how this methodology can promote getting it right on the first try, but let's be honest, how often does that really happen? I am forced to be satisfied with a score I am not necessarily proud of because my teacher does not want to go through the trouble of re-grading.

Which is why I am actually really happy that we are somewhat being forced to revise our two essays for the portfolio. After our initial conference after turning in the rough draft of the research essay, Prof. Ballenger and I went over what corrections I could work on. I was pretty content with the way my rough draft turned out but there were a couple of things I knew which would need some tender, loving edits. Ballenger recommended something I like to refer to as, 'nit-picking'. My lengthy sentences needed chopping, my long-winded, sometimes cheesy-wording needed fixing, tidbits here and there which were basically just restatements needed the boot, you catch my drift.

I found this method of revision worked very well after the first go at it. I was able to chop down my word count by about 450 words with a couple hours. I am still continuing to revise my research essay while working on my political cartoons, and I hope that the next conference will have even more insight.

Final Portfolio

As I started working on my final portfolio Monday night, I was surprised by how easily everything came to me. When I first found out that we would have to revise our previous essays, I was worried about not being able to. When I was first editing my essays to turn in the rough draft, I read them over and over, but I was never able to add more to them. I had said all I wanted to say, but still hadn't quite reached the page requirement. I ended up giving up and turning in the shorter than required essays.

Now that it has been a while since I've looked at my essays, I can see them in a new light. Armed with new experience and a handful of advice,  I have already added a lot to my research essay and have fulfilled the original page requirement. My personal essay is still harder for me to write, as was expected, but the words definitely come easier to me than the first time I wrote it.

I hope there are others who are finding this project easier than expected, because although it may not seem like we learned a lot of concrete material this semester, I think that everyone has improved their writing since taking this class.

Revising

I have been working for the past week or so (before thanksgiving break not during) on my final portfolio. I decided to give myself a break over thanksgiving and I didn't work on revising any of my essays. On Monday I received a lot of good advice on revising my website. I will try to work on the fixes that everyone in class gave me ideas about to make my website better. I want to use my website, research essay, and personal essay in my final portfolio. I have done the grammar and basic fixes to my personal essay. I still need to fully revise it and put a "new face" to it. I have done some of the big revising already to my research essay. I did Dr.Ballenger's idea of cutting up the essay and moving paragraphs to make your essay more cohesive and help it flow better. I did actually move around a couple of paragraphs. I think my essay makes more sense now and I am happier with it. However, I still need to work on changing both of my essays more. It is hard for me to do more than just the easy to see fixes. I will try to use more of Dr.Ballenger's tips about revising from the blog.

My dog ate my homework...

After making it through our first day back from break, I have to say that I'm a little bit surprised that I made it.  That was probably the longest Monday I've ever lived.  It seemed like every time I turned around there was some other thing that I still had to take care of.  Granted, I knew about a lot of these things before we left for Thanksgiving so none of them should have really caught me by surprise.  It's kind of funny that I made up so many lists and agendas and promises that I would get so much work done on each day of the break so that I would be caught up or ahead in all of my classes.  Now that we're back I'm wondering what happened to all of those lists and promises, because I haven't see any of them since last Friday.  And I'm guessing that I'm not the only student on campus who "forgot" to do any of their homework over the break.  So basically now is the time to cram.
These next two weeks or so are probably going to be the closest thing I can imagine to having a hell on earth, but as soon as we're done it's out of the frying pan and into our houses with our parents and Christmas lights and yummy food and relaxation.  Doesn't that just sound lovely?

Ashley Bates

Some Thoughts

Originally I was going to post about my portfolio and my revising but as I scroll through the blog I thought I was mix up the posts a little bit. It has been very interesting to see everyones presentations the past few weeks. Everyone's project is so different from each other and I like to see all the different aspects that we all have taken on the same assignment. I also admire those who truly stepped out of their comfort zone, and did something completely new.
In particular, I found the radio essays very interesting to listen to. When I first head some people talking about their radio essay, I was a little skeptical about it and was unsure how effective they would be. But I really have enjoyed listening to them. Each has been very unique and different from the others, even though they are radio essays. When I think about myself trying to make a radio essay, I feel like it would be hard for me to get across true emotion and feelings. But all the ones we listened to were very powerful, and I felt that the emotion was portrayed very well.
Also I do not know why this did not occur to me before, but those who created a website truly made something that others could use. For example, if I Googled "Colorado River",  Sydney's website could come up, and I could use the information from her. Although we could all share our project, there is a good possibility that few people will exactly see our projects. But a website it something that really gets your information out to a very large audience.

Awkward.

Well. I just have some random notes. I'm feeling scatterbrained today.

I had a pretty uneventful break... it was just really boring. Most of my time was spent working or at a cabin with a bunch of people I am not particularly fond of. Thus, I spent probably more time than most working on homework. So I pretty much finished my portfolio. I mean it wasn't fun but I was already bored so I may as well have. I think I need to work a little more but it's just about done.

Have you noticed how the doorknob on this building doesn't actually turn? I try to turn it every single time. I mean, I know it won't but I try every time. Does everyone do that?


I think I came to college with so many opinions. I am not sure if I have opinions anymore. I see so many things I didn't before. I want to sympathize with every argument.

If you are going to make an argument about anything. If you are going to start a movement about anything. If you are going to support anything. Please educate yourself. I am just about done with ignorance.

Suggestions for Revision

It's revision time. But what does that really mean?  Typically, we think about revision as "fixing things" (e.g. putting in citations, correcting grammar, tidying up sentences).  This editorial work is important, but revision, as the name implies, involves more than that.  It involves "re-seeing," which can mean anything from scrapping a first draft and starting over again with the real subject, or clarifying and developing a new question or thesis.  The problem with this, of course, is time. Student writers are understandably reluctant to surrender to the inefficiency of re-seeing.  So why do it, other than hopes of getting a better grade?  Because there can be a lot of pleasure in discovering what you didn't know you knew, and at being surprised at what you have discovered.  A major theme of the course is that we write to learn.  If we let it, writing can lead thought, not trail behind it.

As a practical matter, though, how do you begin revision?  Here are my suggestions:

1. Re-read a draft, set it aside. and then fastwrite for as long as you can about what you noticed about the piece, what you're thinking now about it, what you might be trying to say but not quite saying.  Explore what you think is working and what might need work. Think through writing about what you've done in a draft and what you might do.
2. Attack it physically.  Sometimes we can't seem to escape the pull of a first draft enough to see it freshly.  One solution is to literally take it apart so it doesn't look like the thing you started with.  This is especially useful for research essays.  For how to do this, see " Exercise 5.3: Cut and Paste Revision" on p. 196 of Curious Researcher.
3. Start with the most important thing:  What is the draft trying to say?  What is the SOFT?  To re-orient yourself to this, answer this question in writing:  What do I understand now about this topic that I didn't fully appreciate when I first starting writing about it?  Then tell yourself the story of how your thinking evolved from the beginning.  Skip a line, and answer the question you started with again.  Write this on a notecard and pin it above your desk.  Now go through your draft and ask yourself, "Does the information in each paragraph move the readers towards understanding what I'm trying to say on that notecsard?"
4. Multiple leads.  We've done this before as a class exercise.  But I can't overstate how powerful different beginnings can be in revision.  Work towards finding a place to begin that establishes the purpose of your essay:  the question, dilemma, problem, or idea that you're interested in.

I'll talk more with everybody in conference next week about their specific questions.