Past the Point of No Return

Well, it's done. I've pressed the 'save and submit' button and there is no going back.

As much as I am grateful that I am finally done with my final portfolio I almost wish I could have had another week. Writing the cover letter for my portfolio made me realize all the unique skills I have learned throughout this course. I also feel more confident about working within academic inquiry and that makes me want to write both of my papers all over again.

When I entered this English class I thought of myself as an okay writer. I could put together well-done papers that were intelligent, but I realize now that my writing lacked a life. It had a voice, but the voice of only a fraction of what it could be. In redefining the essay I feel I was able to truly bring my writing to life, and the prospect of getting to do that for the rest of my life is so exciting.

To my classmates, take some time to breathe this weekend as you hit the books to study for you remaining finals. We've done some incredible work this semester, and its time to realize that this is only the beginning of the much greater work we have ahead of us.

Good luck to you all and I hope to continue to see you all around campus!

The End

Well this is it. The semester is over and so is this class too; It has been quite an experience. This following week we will all be stressing out about the other hundred finals that we have to take, but we also have everything plan up as to how to study, what to study, where to study, dont we? Anyways, I hope you guys all have an amazing break and enjoy your time back home! It was one of the most interesting class that I had this semester, with a lot of interesting people. It was great to get to know all of you, and hopefully we will see each other again in some other classes. Again, thank you Dr. Ballenger for your effort and great feedback on every single paper that we did this semester. It is truly appreciated. Have a nice break!

Last Blog Post

Well here we are. El fin. I write this sitting in the last few minutes of my last class for the semester. It's been a rough one that's for sure. Between the internships, speech and debate, two jobs, and an 18 credit course load, it's fair to say I overcommitted. I did want to spend this time/ space complaining about the fact that I'm going to get heavily docked for not blogging more often, but that would be a fruitless endeavor, so instead, I'll do what I'm supposed to and talk about the final portfolio.

The revision process has been helpful. It was nice to have all of Ballenger's comments to work with and it gave me enough to heavily revise my papers without having to take it through much more revision process. 20 pages sounded long for a portfolio but Ballenger did an effective job of getting us prepared for it ahead of time. Because I've been keeping up with most of the revision suggestions throughout the semester, this actual portfolio hasn't been too stressful, which is a beacon of light during dead week where there were about a million other things I could barely handle.
I wish there was more of an emphasis on the connections. I feel like the most important thing we can do is connect the concepts of our papers not only to the course (which we do briefly in the cover sheet) but also to outside the classroom. Understanding how the ideas we discuss apply outside of the course is the most important thing we could possibly do as students. The deeper connections to the world are what we ought to seek in our college classes.

I hope this class in the future is as structured on that as much as possible. Ballenger does as better job than most professors of tapping into our interconnectivity to world issues / the big ideas.

One Last Post

So I just hit submit on my final portfolio. Yeah, that was a little nerve racking. But I guess I am done with this class now. And I just wanted to say thanks to Dr. Ballenger for everything. You accomplished a hard task, to actually get me to enjoy my English class. But I honestly think that everything that I have learned in this class, will help me in my writing in my future classes and beyond that. I also want to thank everyone else. For listening to me while I read twelve pages on gluten or giving me good feedback on my brochure, it was all helpful and I really do appreciate it. But it's not really a goodbye. I will see everyone around campus, especially since we're all in Honors. Good luck to everyone on your portfolio and on the rest of your finals! Just remember that Christmas Day is only fifteen short days away :)

Take Time to Smell The Cheese

I've known what I've had to do for finals for the past two weeks. I've made a plan and had a handle on it. For no reason at all, all of that went flying out the window today.

Suddenly everything became overwhelming. Something was pushed over the edge and went from a lot of stuff to do and accomplish to This is too much... I am so stressed... I am so TIRED...I just...I just....CAN'T!

So, naturally, I call my mom.

After she proceeds to tell me exactly what I expected from her, "This is totally normal and ok to be feeling this way" I barely feel any better. My mother even says, "You're flying back in a week! We can't wait to see you!" and I reply, "Nope. Not *sniff* helping Mom. *sob* I just miss you more."

Her response?

These: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ngz1hNBEDx0 (Good Morning)
           https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ijkg48_OYlQ (Take Time to Smell the Cheese) <-------

When I was younger, Bear in the Big Blue House was a favorite of mine, and to make my current stress level decrease, she sent me Bear.

It didn't help much, but it certainly brightened my day.

So if you're feeling particularly stressed, just remember to take time to smell the cheese. :)

The Final Stretch

I can't believe my first semester of college is practically over. Two more finals to get through and I am done! It truly flew by. I am going to miss Dr. Ballenger's class because it was totally different from all of my other classes. It was great to get away from math and science for awhile and enjoy English. I had fun writing different types of essays and learning more about myself. I need to finish revising my personal and my research essay but I would have to say I am almost done with those. I have written my cover letter (of course it needs a little revising) but that was the last writing assignment I had to do for this class. Now I need to be brave and submit my work onto my portfolio :)  I have learned a lot from my peers this semester in this class. I think everyone's constructive criticism and advice helped me become a better writer. I have had a great semester but I am definitely looking forward to Christmas break! So, the countdown begins.

The "hash and re-mash"

I would like to share my wonderful experience with what I would lovingly like to call the "hash and re-mash" of my research essay. As you may have read before, I was stuck. The amount of times I had deleted and rewritten my research paper had become disgusting and I was losing patience and motivation...fast. So I printed out what I had, grabbed my scissors and set up camp in the Driscoll lobby. See, I had done a different dance of the "hash and re-mash" before when I was working on my senior project but this was new. I literally chopped and labeled, wrote and pasted, and my work space expanded wider and wider until I was starting to see an essay, a conversation. I took a break then went back to work later, adding pages of handwritten information. Then I typed up the paper. Without a conclusion, without all the information I still wanted to add, without citations, I had hit the 9 page mark and I was ecstatic. I had learned the importance behind seeing your project as one piece rather than a long thought. I finally have gotten somewhere and learned what I feel was jumping out at me this whole class. I learned I need to always do this with my writing. This is the epiphany I was waiting for in this class and I am now viewing writing in a vastly different way.

Ten Course Themes

As you're developing your portfolio cover letter, you might consider reflecting on one or more of the following themes of the class:

1. Writing badly.  We've used this phrase to stand in for the idea that sometimes when we follow our words in writing rather than trying to muscle them into obedience, writing can be a mode of discovery and learning.  Frequently, this requires lower our standards enough to get some writing done.
2. Research as conversation.  Knowledge in a field is the product of an on-going conversation among people with authority to speak.  As novices and outsiders, we are obligated to first listen in to what has been said but ultimately to add in some small way to this on-going conversation.  We should extend this conversation metaphor to our reading as well, listening in and talking with sources when we encounter them.  Writing "in the middle" of research can help with this
3. Academic inquiry.  In much school writing, we're taught to figure out what we think before we see what we say.  This leads to the rush to a thesis, nailing things down as quickly as possible.  But this rush to judgment is the antithesis of academic inquiry, whose purpose is discovery.  In academic inquiry we begin with questions, not answers, and in the process try to figure out what we think.
4. Essaying.  A verb that describes the process of writing to find out.   
5. Essay.  A genre that encourages essaying.  Meanings emerge later in an essay rather than in a billboard thesis in the introductory paragraph.  We write essays to find out. We write papers to prove.
6. Narrator.  Strong writers always narrate, even in formal writing.  Readers look for the guiding hand to lead them through the material, and if they sense it's missing, they'll stop reading.
7. Narrative.  The four elements of narrative--time, place, character, and causality--are often used in researched writing to keep readers interested.  We anchor larger questions and ideas to particular people, places, and times, and in this way make concepts and claims less abstract and remote.  
8. Narrative thinking.  Logical thinking is a powerful way to work with larger ideas and concepts by stripping away concern about context. We write about how a problem affects "society." Narrative thinking foregrounds context.  This is how the problem affects this person or this particular community.  
9. Genre.  Genre is not an inert container into which we pour information but a dynamic one.  It changes the information and the information alters the form.  Genre is something we see through, that influences what we see and how we see it.
10. Rhetoric.  Persuasive writing depends on the appropriate balance of ethos, pathos, and logos, and this balance is determined by analyzing one's audience and the writer's purpose.  

The  cover letters are a key part of the portfolio. I encourage you to spend time writing and thinking about your takeaways from the course, including how you've come to understand one or more of these themes.

Confessions of a "Librarian"

So in case you all didn't already know the library is open 24 hours a day this week and next week.  And as you can imagine and I'm sure you already knew a little bit first hand, college students are kind of a little bit crazy.  And we all know they're even crazier late at night when they're stressing about their finals and group projects and portfolios.
Now, I work in the library.  But I don't work there when all the normal kids are there because I work closing shifts.  I work until midnight during a regular week.  It gets a little weird.  And it's already gotten weirder.  Last night there was this guy checking out a laptop from the front desk, and I'm not totally sure why but he had a half dozen container of hard boiled eggs.  Am I missing something here?  Are those a really good study food or something? There was also a girl checking out some books who was really persistent in telling all of us working there that her uncle was crazy for having a service animal.  When we asked her why he was so crazy she launched into a huge explanation for why snakes can't really be service animals.  Until last night I was not even aware that there needed to be an argument against snakes being used as service animals.
Needless to say there are some strange happenings at the library, and as the hours get later and later I'll bet you that people will start being weirder and weirder.  So this week as I'm frantically trying to revise my papers behind the circulation desk I will try to keep on eye on all of these crazy kids, and hopefully I'll come away with some good stories to tell.  And also a decent portfolio for this class.  That's probably a little more important than a handful of weird stories.

Ashley Bates

DISCLAIMER: I wrote this blog post over a week ago but never typed it up, that is why my blog posts that seem to be written right after another are actually about my research paper over time.

I have found my brain running loose with this new kind of writing. In high school, we used specific outlines to get only specific wheels turning while stopping others. This class is like greasing up those wheels with some WD-40 and letting them run and run and run and run and spew out information and the new job is trying to get it all down on paper in a way that makes sense.

But this seems to be my biggest struggle. I have thrown out and rewritten my research paper so many times it's ridiculous. Why am I doing this? Because I keep on letting the wheels spin and the paper begins to go out of control. Having never written a research paper, I don't even have a funnel for those to go into.

This, I believe, is the function of those structures we all write again and again in high school. These annoying formulas are the funnels we use so that when we get to this class, we can let the wheels spin but also funnel out what we need.

I have decided to literally write out an outline, make my essay structured but also randomly let the wheels spin a little. I need to call back my internal critic that I let go of at the beginning of the year and find a little structure for these crazy wheels in my head.

Reflection for Portfolio

As I wrote my cover letter for my portfolio, it actually made me stop and think about the semester. In five days we will all officially be done with this class, and for some of us, done with English classes for the rest of our lives. And looking back on my past semester, I am very glad that I was put into this section of English 112. English has never been my favorite subject and I have always liked/been better at math and science. And if I am not good at something, there is a very good chance that I will not like it either. But as I wrote the cover letter and it asked what we would take away from this class and what we had learned this semester, I had to think before I was able to put it simply. I had learned many things throughout this class- making every writing piece personal, making a research essay interesting, how to transform a twelve page essay into a few bullet points, but after I looked at all the things that I had learned I realized that it all came back to me spending more time on each piece of writing. I do not like revising things. I would rather write it and be done with it. But taking the extra time while I am writing the initial piece and especially while I am revising, truly makes a piece that much better. Another big thing that I pulled out from writing the cover letter was that looking at an essay from the audience's point of view really helped my writing. Asking myself, would I take the time to read this? And if the question was no, then I knew that there was still work to be done on my essay. Although I feel that I went through these processes as the seamster went on, I did not consciously realize them until I wrote my cover letter.

This is it

I'm excited to get the portfolio done, but I'm not looking forward to the process of revising. I hope when I finish everything I am proud of it all, however, I worry that I'm never going to be satisfied with what I "finish". I know what I want to put in the portfolio, I think, but I don't know if I'll be happy with what I end up writing.

I'm sure everyone else knows this feeling. In fact there's really only one project that I'm really proud of right now and that's the re-purposing project. I know exactly how I want to change that and what I need to do to make it what I want. The other essays I know they need to change drastically but I don't know if I'll ever be happy with them. When I write I'm either extremely pleased with a project or I don't care about it very much and I hate revising essays. This will be interesting but it's important to remember that this is it, it's the end, it's our last chance to make these papers what we want.

Revising on my Closet Door

My closet door has found a new purpose in my academic life.

Video vs. Essay

            When I showed my video in class on Monday it felt weird. It was like writing a really bad essay and having someone read over it as a final draft, but ten times worse. I felt like I was much more exposed making a video than I ever have been writing an essay. It wasn’t just easy to change words on a page. I felt like the video did a much better job of catching my voice than an essay, and I guess that was the whole point of this project. I converted my essay to a different mode and I think it actually improved what AI was trying to say. The video format really let me choose how I wanted people to feel. Yes, you can do this with words too, but with a video you also have music, narration and the actual cinematography itself. It really allows one to create a mood on multiple dimensions. However, because this was a personal essay, all of those dimensions became personal too. It wasn’t just about how the audience felt, but also about it made me feel. What was the internal process I had to go through while writing this essay? I found myself asking this over and over again. When I was finished the reason it made me uncomfortable was because I think it somewhat captured that emotion. It made me feel like that with all of those dimensions I was putting myself out there more than before. It wasn't just because I thought I could improve on the video, and I certainly can. When I revise it I will definitely add clearer audio, maybe cut down the length just a little bit but I will definitely leave the same feel. The fact that it made me uncomfortable meant it worked, so I should keep the tone. However, this means I can’t tear every part down and remake it as I would like too. That would certainly get rid of the tone, and that “tone” is what I want to shine through when I turn it in, in my portfolio. 

Of Revision and Long-Windedness

Revision is not everybody's strong suit. We, especially as Honor's students, don't like to be told that we are wrong or what we do is incorrect. In high school, revision was not something I needed to utilize too often because I would get a good enough grade the first time around or my teacher's would not offer a higher grade than say, a 90/100 on a revised essay and here I am, stuck with a 93. I can see how this methodology can promote getting it right on the first try, but let's be honest, how often does that really happen? I am forced to be satisfied with a score I am not necessarily proud of because my teacher does not want to go through the trouble of re-grading.

Which is why I am actually really happy that we are somewhat being forced to revise our two essays for the portfolio. After our initial conference after turning in the rough draft of the research essay, Prof. Ballenger and I went over what corrections I could work on. I was pretty content with the way my rough draft turned out but there were a couple of things I knew which would need some tender, loving edits. Ballenger recommended something I like to refer to as, 'nit-picking'. My lengthy sentences needed chopping, my long-winded, sometimes cheesy-wording needed fixing, tidbits here and there which were basically just restatements needed the boot, you catch my drift.

I found this method of revision worked very well after the first go at it. I was able to chop down my word count by about 450 words with a couple hours. I am still continuing to revise my research essay while working on my political cartoons, and I hope that the next conference will have even more insight.

Final Portfolio

As I started working on my final portfolio Monday night, I was surprised by how easily everything came to me. When I first found out that we would have to revise our previous essays, I was worried about not being able to. When I was first editing my essays to turn in the rough draft, I read them over and over, but I was never able to add more to them. I had said all I wanted to say, but still hadn't quite reached the page requirement. I ended up giving up and turning in the shorter than required essays.

Now that it has been a while since I've looked at my essays, I can see them in a new light. Armed with new experience and a handful of advice,  I have already added a lot to my research essay and have fulfilled the original page requirement. My personal essay is still harder for me to write, as was expected, but the words definitely come easier to me than the first time I wrote it.

I hope there are others who are finding this project easier than expected, because although it may not seem like we learned a lot of concrete material this semester, I think that everyone has improved their writing since taking this class.

Revising

I have been working for the past week or so (before thanksgiving break not during) on my final portfolio. I decided to give myself a break over thanksgiving and I didn't work on revising any of my essays. On Monday I received a lot of good advice on revising my website. I will try to work on the fixes that everyone in class gave me ideas about to make my website better. I want to use my website, research essay, and personal essay in my final portfolio. I have done the grammar and basic fixes to my personal essay. I still need to fully revise it and put a "new face" to it. I have done some of the big revising already to my research essay. I did Dr.Ballenger's idea of cutting up the essay and moving paragraphs to make your essay more cohesive and help it flow better. I did actually move around a couple of paragraphs. I think my essay makes more sense now and I am happier with it. However, I still need to work on changing both of my essays more. It is hard for me to do more than just the easy to see fixes. I will try to use more of Dr.Ballenger's tips about revising from the blog.

My dog ate my homework...

After making it through our first day back from break, I have to say that I'm a little bit surprised that I made it.  That was probably the longest Monday I've ever lived.  It seemed like every time I turned around there was some other thing that I still had to take care of.  Granted, I knew about a lot of these things before we left for Thanksgiving so none of them should have really caught me by surprise.  It's kind of funny that I made up so many lists and agendas and promises that I would get so much work done on each day of the break so that I would be caught up or ahead in all of my classes.  Now that we're back I'm wondering what happened to all of those lists and promises, because I haven't see any of them since last Friday.  And I'm guessing that I'm not the only student on campus who "forgot" to do any of their homework over the break.  So basically now is the time to cram.
These next two weeks or so are probably going to be the closest thing I can imagine to having a hell on earth, but as soon as we're done it's out of the frying pan and into our houses with our parents and Christmas lights and yummy food and relaxation.  Doesn't that just sound lovely?

Ashley Bates

Some Thoughts

Originally I was going to post about my portfolio and my revising but as I scroll through the blog I thought I was mix up the posts a little bit. It has been very interesting to see everyones presentations the past few weeks. Everyone's project is so different from each other and I like to see all the different aspects that we all have taken on the same assignment. I also admire those who truly stepped out of their comfort zone, and did something completely new.
In particular, I found the radio essays very interesting to listen to. When I first head some people talking about their radio essay, I was a little skeptical about it and was unsure how effective they would be. But I really have enjoyed listening to them. Each has been very unique and different from the others, even though they are radio essays. When I think about myself trying to make a radio essay, I feel like it would be hard for me to get across true emotion and feelings. But all the ones we listened to were very powerful, and I felt that the emotion was portrayed very well.
Also I do not know why this did not occur to me before, but those who created a website truly made something that others could use. For example, if I Googled "Colorado River",  Sydney's website could come up, and I could use the information from her. Although we could all share our project, there is a good possibility that few people will exactly see our projects. But a website it something that really gets your information out to a very large audience.

Awkward.

Well. I just have some random notes. I'm feeling scatterbrained today.

I had a pretty uneventful break... it was just really boring. Most of my time was spent working or at a cabin with a bunch of people I am not particularly fond of. Thus, I spent probably more time than most working on homework. So I pretty much finished my portfolio. I mean it wasn't fun but I was already bored so I may as well have. I think I need to work a little more but it's just about done.

Have you noticed how the doorknob on this building doesn't actually turn? I try to turn it every single time. I mean, I know it won't but I try every time. Does everyone do that?


I think I came to college with so many opinions. I am not sure if I have opinions anymore. I see so many things I didn't before. I want to sympathize with every argument.

If you are going to make an argument about anything. If you are going to start a movement about anything. If you are going to support anything. Please educate yourself. I am just about done with ignorance.

Suggestions for Revision

It's revision time. But what does that really mean?  Typically, we think about revision as "fixing things" (e.g. putting in citations, correcting grammar, tidying up sentences).  This editorial work is important, but revision, as the name implies, involves more than that.  It involves "re-seeing," which can mean anything from scrapping a first draft and starting over again with the real subject, or clarifying and developing a new question or thesis.  The problem with this, of course, is time. Student writers are understandably reluctant to surrender to the inefficiency of re-seeing.  So why do it, other than hopes of getting a better grade?  Because there can be a lot of pleasure in discovering what you didn't know you knew, and at being surprised at what you have discovered.  A major theme of the course is that we write to learn.  If we let it, writing can lead thought, not trail behind it.

As a practical matter, though, how do you begin revision?  Here are my suggestions:

1. Re-read a draft, set it aside. and then fastwrite for as long as you can about what you noticed about the piece, what you're thinking now about it, what you might be trying to say but not quite saying.  Explore what you think is working and what might need work. Think through writing about what you've done in a draft and what you might do.
2. Attack it physically.  Sometimes we can't seem to escape the pull of a first draft enough to see it freshly.  One solution is to literally take it apart so it doesn't look like the thing you started with.  This is especially useful for research essays.  For how to do this, see " Exercise 5.3: Cut and Paste Revision" on p. 196 of Curious Researcher.
3. Start with the most important thing:  What is the draft trying to say?  What is the SOFT?  To re-orient yourself to this, answer this question in writing:  What do I understand now about this topic that I didn't fully appreciate when I first starting writing about it?  Then tell yourself the story of how your thinking evolved from the beginning.  Skip a line, and answer the question you started with again.  Write this on a notecard and pin it above your desk.  Now go through your draft and ask yourself, "Does the information in each paragraph move the readers towards understanding what I'm trying to say on that notecsard?"
4. Multiple leads.  We've done this before as a class exercise.  But I can't overstate how powerful different beginnings can be in revision.  Work towards finding a place to begin that establishes the purpose of your essay:  the question, dilemma, problem, or idea that you're interested in.

I'll talk more with everybody in conference next week about their specific questions.