Though this is not directly related to the re-genre project, I feel the need to blog about my thoughts recently. Though they may be relevant only to me, I feel as though many other students may be going through the same thought process that I am.
Perhaps it's the intellectual environment of a college campus, or perhaps it's simply the current stage of life I'm in, but recently I've been struggling to find meaning and a greater purpose in my existence. I've been thinking about the way that I live and what I believe, and how they change the world around me. I wonder - if I don't know myself and what I stand for, how can I possibly have a positive impact on the world around me? Why am I here? Why am I a computer scientist? How important is my faith to me? Do I think in a way that is conducive to my faith? Is my faith curtailing my intellectual development or exploration? Am I preparing myself to lead a life that matters? These are the questions that I'm currently seeking the answers to.
A college education is definitely not essential to change the world. Countless professionals and leaders have made huge positive contributions to society without a degree. However, I feel that at this stage in my life, I'm meant to be here at Boise State, learning, honing leadership skills, making friends, etc. I've learned as much outside the classroom as I have inside, chiefly by interacting with my peers and my professors. It's amazing how much one can learn through simple conversations, if you pay close enough attention.
Why do I post about such things? Well, I've noticed how the process of academic inquiry and critical thinking are essential when seeking the answers to these questions. Though I haven't found what I seek yet, I've been able to focus my questions and introspection by using the aforementioned techniques.
I also just watched a thought-provoking and inspirational documentary on a San Diego legend, Slomo, a man who had it all and gave it up to rollerskate down the Pacific Beach Boardwalk every day. The link can be found here, and I highly reccommend you take the 15 minutes to watch it:
http://www.nytimes.com/video/opinion/100000002796999/slomo.html
Slomo's inherited motto, "do what you want to", gave me a new outlook on the possible answers to my questions. Perhaps I am here, learning and honing my skills, simply to do what I want to do. Perhaps a life of significance can only be measured by oneself, not by others? Maybe the ultimate acheivement is to be able to lie on one's deathbed, look back on life, and be satisfied and happy with how you spent your time?
I hope this post isn't too long - it definitely strayed into the territory of my personal essay. I think I may explore some of these thoughts with my radio essay re-genre.
I haven't had the chance to look at the video, Luke, but I will. But one of the things your post made me think about is the scholarship on the intellectual development of college students. We've talked a little about this in class. Obviously, going to college--and especially that first year---is a personally and intellectually trans-formative time. Some scholars actually describe it as a period of crisis in which students suddenly find themselves challenging old beliefs (even really foundational ones) and feeling really disoriented, even scared. It's also normal, especially if you're paying attention and taking things seriously, as you are. This dissonance is at the heart of personal and intellectual growth. It's exciting.
ReplyDeleteDr. Ballenger,
DeleteIt's good to hear this reassurance from a professor who has taught many students like myself! Like I said in my personal essay, I can tell other students are asking the same questions I am, simply through our conversations. I'm sorry I didn't see your reply in time for class today, otherwise I would have asked you about the video. Please let me know what you think of it when you get the chance! - A personal anecdote, I have seen Slomo himself before when I would go surfing at Pacific Beach, but never knew his story till now.