It now makes sense!

            It finally dawned on me, what it meant to write a paper without knowing an answer or having an idea of at least where the paper was headed. Last year in my English class we attempted to do this. My papers turned out fine, but the whole time I knew exactly what my opinions and arguments were. I had an idea of how my paper would turn out the entire time. But on Tuesday, during our fast writing essays, it made sense. We were told to write about our current or previous infatuations and then reflect on it. I thought I knew exactly what I wanted to write and to a certain extent I did. I wrote about how I am infatuated with cycling and exercise. Then I wrote about how infatuations change. However, at some point during the seven minutes I realized that I was really writing about my lifestyle as an infatuation. In short, I had claimed that my identity was made up of my infatuations, which pretty much sent shivers up my spine. I’m not sure if this made me so uncomfortable because it implied a changing identity, or the fact that who we are is just based off of current obsessions. Given all of the previous information we had read or heard about the personal essay I pretty quickly knew this had to be my topic. But now the more I reflect on my topic the more I realize that this is exactly what my teacher last year was trying to get us to do. It now makes sense.

I have no idea how or where my personal essay will conclude, but more likely than not it won’t be a concrete answer.  By the end of the essay I will probably be left with more questions about my identity than when I started, as I did with the fast write. I understand (I hope) that this is exactly how our essays should be inspired so I can’t wait to see where my inquiry leads me.