As I try to think of a good moment to "explode" for my personal essay, I feel this irrational need to come up with a brilliant moment, one that just goes to show how smart I really am.
Being Honor students, I would guess that most of us have felt this way throughout our academic careers. People just assume that you are smart, and then they expect you to be smart. They expect you to know the answer to everything, to be able to explain anything, and when you can't rise to their expectation you are the one left feeling completely and utterly dumb.
I know that I have felt this pressure a lot throughout high school. I feel that in some ways I was robbed of being able to be confused. There were times where I felt like I should know everything and when I didn't, I felt beyond stupid. It was damaging to my self-esteem, especially during my senior year. If only I could have realized much sooner that confusion is okay. It's okay to not know because if you want to know, then you'll be motivated to learn about it. You won't feel the need to know just to be able to show everyone else up and be the know-it-all that people think you are.
As I write this, a memory is coming to the forefront of my mind.
Well, I suppose I have my moment to "explode" and the story behind my essay now.
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