That Tickly Feeling

I never expected to be one of those people who has that story. That hardship that seems to be written on what they wear everyday, who they are, and how they go about their daily life.

I'm not saying that I've been through a hardship that intense, but I wrote my personal essay on what I deemed The Year of Hell.

[The Year of Hell: noun. The sophomore year of one Madeleine Booth when her wonderful choir teacher was replaced with a teacher who was not qualified to teach any kind of musical ensemble. After deciding to teach the choir, Madeleine endured a year of blatant bullying and humiliation from a teacher who couldn't teach and was angry with the fact that a 15 year old was doing a better job of it than he ever could. It was during this year that Madeleine realized that she was good at teaching music and that was what she wanted to do with her life.]

I've told this story countless times, and each time everyone is really astounded with what I had to deal with and how I got through it. I don't get pitied. People look at me with surprise and awe at the fact that I was able to deal with that level of bullying for a year and come out of it triumphant.

Whenever I tell this story, I end it triumphantly. I endured an entire year of this teacher who made me cry on more than one occasion. And not only endured, but came out of it with the realization that I was good at teaching music and that was what I wanted to do with my life.

I'm not one of those people who can't talk about their experience because it hurts too much.

But today, when I was reading my essay on whether or not this hardship was worth it, I got that little tickly feeling at the back of your throat warning you that you're about to break down.

Luckily, I was in front of my professor, and I don't think we're at that level where I can cry in front of him, so I swallowed it.

But I haven't had to swallow that experience in a very long time.